Reading the novel "Sacajawea" by Anna Waldo.

I first read this novel some years ago- I just checked my earliest book journal, which I started in 1991, and it's not recorded there, so I must have read it in the 80s, and although I do recall it being very long, I really enjoyed the story of Sacajawea, the Shosone woman who accompanied Lewis and Clark on their expedition to the Pacific from North Dakota when it was only Indian tribes who inhabited the land.

I could end this entry right there, because that sentence pretty well sums up the whole book, all 1400 pages of it. But why am I even writing about it? Well, one of our Book Club members presented it as a possibility for us to discuss this year, and it was accepted, probably much more on the positive comments made by those who had read it, myself included. None of us mentioned its length, and if I'd recalled that, I'd have NEVER voted for it!

So, late in August I started reading Sacajawea for the second time, so I'd have it read by November 12, which is when we will meet to discuss it. About six chapters in, I decided it was boring, and anyway, I had a couple of other books on the go which were more interesting. But I felt some responsibility needed to be taken for having voted for it, so maybe I could just read the beginning of every chapter, which was an entry from Lewis and Clark's own journals on the expedition. Well, I did that for a bit, but then my curiosity got the better of me, so I decided to read it properly at least up to the middle of the book, then I'd decide if I was going to continue. Around page 600, I took a break, and I thought it was a permanent one- after all I knew enough of her story by this time, and I'd already read about her in Wikipedia. And I was also finishing those other books I mentioned earlier, and had my eye - as always - on the next one I wanted to read.

The novel is interesting enough as historical fiction, but I really feel the author did little beyond basically re-writing other journals and letters from Sacajawea's point of view, so that it's just a milder dose of a historic epic, written to make the story more accessible to general readers. There's also a fair amount of legend in there,too, which is all right - the story is interesting and certainly informative, but I thought my life would probably turn out all right if I didn't finish it.

So I left it - it's on my Kindle, stored under my "Did not finish" collection - quite content with my decision, until early last week Shirley mentioned she was just about finished it, and had really enjoyed it, and lo and behold, I felt guilty again about not finishing it.

Why is there this need to finish a book you're not fully committed to? It's not like you make a solemn oath or anything, the author doesn't care whether or not you read the whole thing and wouldn't feel himself or herself a failure if a little not old- but aging- lady in Northern Ontario didn't want to finish it, and there are so so many books to read! Is it so you can say you read the whole thing - Sandra said she "read every word" - is there some mountain--top experience if you actually finish something you don't really want to? I remember Gerry Pickett telling me he always finishes a book, whether he likes it or not. I'm not like that at all - I always have so many books ahead of me I'm dying to read. I used to make myself read 50 pages of a book before giving up on it, and nowadays it's more like 100 pages, but more often than not, I can tell within the first few pages if it'll be worth continuing with it.

The result of this latest - and last - guilt trip - is that I decided to finish it. Note that I said "finish" not "read" because I did not read every word. I didn't even read every page. When I woke up with a headache one morning because of skimming through about 20 pages before bedtime, I quit finishing.

And I don't feel guilty about it. And I don't know what there will be to discuss about Sacajawea as a book - I have a feeling it's going to be about the experience of reading - or not finishing - the book. Keep tuned!